カウントダウン

今日という日が近づくにつれ
胸の鼓動が早まりいてもたってもいられない
それは私よりもあいつの方が凄まじいのだろうけど
あのメールが届いたのは2、3日前
感情が無です
その短い文にケタケタと笑ってしまったけれど
あいつはそうとう恐れているらしい
そうミハルは出産を恐れている
本日11月11日は予定日なのだけれど今朝
生まれたんかいさ
と電話してみると旦那様も休みをとって準備万端
しかしどうも今日には生まれそうにないらしく
20キロ以上太った体でごろんごろんしているようだけど
不安が消えない原因のひとつである陣痛が
お医者に聞いても始まったらわかる
母親に聞いても始まったらわかる
としか教えてくれずついでに私も
ほんなら始まったらわかるんちゃう
と言うし本当に始まったらわかるのかしら
見過ごすんじゃないかしら
と不安拭えずそうだ、そうだったわ
ミハルちゃんは超天然娘だし酔っぱらって血が出ること3回
3回目に血が出たときは車にひかれて血まみれになって顔を4針縫ってん
とさっきまで一緒に飲んでいた私に電話がかかってきたけれど
本当は一人で転んで血まみれになっただけだったし
その翌日顔面包帯だらけで仕事に行けば
気持ちが悪くなって救急車を呼んで自らの足で乗り込み
診察してもらえばただの二日酔いですと言われたこともあり
彼氏が女と歩いているのをはっきりと目撃したのに見間違いと言い張るし
小学生の頃、坊主にしていじめられてけど
高校生の頃、また坊主にした時はそんなお前に惚れたぜ
と今度は彼氏ができたけどその男は束縛するは暴力ふるうは
 キムラ(仮名)のキは鬼のキ
とその男の主題歌までできたし
煙草をやめて8キロ太った時に
家の近所に物凄くおいしいチキン南蛮弁当が売っていて当時
同棲していた彼氏に深夜隠れて食べ
ゴミも見つからないように処分したのに朝になって
夜中に弁当食べるのやめてくれへん
と彼氏に言われなんでバレたんと聞くと
寝てたけど隣の部屋からモシャモシャハーハー食べてる音が聞こえて起きてん
とそんなことがあっても仲良く同棲していたけれど
最終的には口を聞かぬまま半年も同居していたし、そうだ
きゃつなら見逃すやもしれぬ…

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